A Life Time In the Sun
by bearsma2898
Summary: Bella realizes she doesnt love Edward, its Jake it always has been but is it to late? Starting out as a B/J may not end up that way


**I dont own any of it wish I did but I dont it all belong to the wonderful Stehenie Meyer!**

**Hope you Enjoy!**

**A Lifetime in the ****Sun**

**Chapter 1 Selfish**

" **Bella? Bella? Is that you?" I turned around and there's my mom, or at least I thinks it's her. She looks older, actually she looks a lot older, and who's that with her? Oh my god that's Charlie! Wait, Wow the both look like they are in their sixties. What Happened? Then my mom starts to talk again " We have been looking for you for so long!" "Mom? What do you mean? I just saw Dad last night." "Oh honey, no it's been almost thirty years!" What? What the hell is she talking about? As if she could read my mind she starts again "The last time we saw you was when you left for you honey moon with Edward, then poof we never hear or see you again!" "Then all of a sudden here you are and you look the same well except for your eyes! Why are they red?" Just then I catch a glimpse of myself pale, beautiful and red eyes. What the Hell!!!! Then my dad starts to speak "I told you Renee, if we ever saw her again she would be just like THEM! She chose THEM over her family, her friends even her own mortality!" Dad looks like he's about to cry and I'm shaking my head "NO! No I didn't choose them over you! I love you! I did this for you! For Edward! I did this so you wouldn't have to worry anymore, so that Edward didn't have to protect me all the time!" If I could cry I would be wailing like a baby "I did this so we would be equals and I could protect everyone I love!" "You did this for us?" my mom asks although it sounded more like an accusation. "Us ? No Bella you did this for you! You thought only of you when you chose him!" She sounded so angry and I couldn't understand why? But the I didn't really understand what was going on. The last thing I remember was saying good night to Charlie, my mom broke my train of thought just then "I can not believe how selfish you are! Do you know what happened after you left? Do you even care?" I opened my mouth to try to explain but she cut me off "Well let me tell you Mrs**_**. Cullen**_**!" There was so much venom in her voice that I just stared at her. "After you left Jacob went CRAZY! He barely left his house; he didn't eat or talk to anyone! And then when he did finally leave he went looking for you!" she took a breath and then continued "He looked everywhere for you he fought every vampire he could in the hope that he would find you! The selfish little girl who broke his heart! But he couldn't find you no one could, of course he wouldn't give up and he swore he would do whatever it took." She was crying now and so was Charlie " I told him not to keep looking that you had made you choice but Jacob believed that Edward had brainwashed you" Charlie stated " He became a mad man hunting down every leech he could find, until he came across some vampires that were just to strong."**

**With that last statement I started to scream and scream…………….**

**I jolted upright clutching my throat and looking around confused. What the hell? Where am I? I look around and realize I am sitting on my bed sheets tangled around my body sweating. It was a dream, just a dream. Thank God! I laid back down trying to figure out why I would have a dream like that when a sparkle caught my eye. I roll over and there it is my Wedding dress. Oh god is that tomorrow? Or today as I look at my clock it's 3:30 in the morning. My Wedding Dress, My Wedding these thoughts keep rolling around in my brain and I start feel dizzy. GOOD LORD GIRL get a hold of yourself! You love Edward! This is what you want right? So you can be with him forever. Forever, Forever, Forever oh god! FOREVER! Suddenly I am extremely hot. I run to my window throw it open and tale in a huge gulp of cold air. Relax, Breath, Relax, Breath. I can do this! "No you can't!" a little voice in my head says. "Yes I can I love Edward!" "Do you? Do you really? Or Do you love the idea of Edward?" Huh? What? No I love Edward I do, don't I? "I don't know I'm just a voice how would I know?" then it giggles. Wait I know that giggle! "Alice?" I ask "Tee-Hee not really, but ok if you want that's who I'll Be!" Ok I am officially going nuts, talking to myself and pretending its Alice. Oh well I'm gonna go with it for now. "Alice, what do you mean the idea of Edward?" "Well silly girl, you loved him but yet it was easy to believe he didn't love you, then he comes back and you just forgive and forget? What the Hell?" "He's Edward I love him he's my everything" I stated firmly but start to wonder myself "Your everything?" The Alice voice questions "What about Charlie? Renee? Jacob??" At this my heart gives a little twist thinking about the dream. "I can't be around Jake or the pack Edward says that they are dangerous to be around and he would die if anything happened to me!" "Oh Prince Edward so sweet and caring oh and don't forget controlling!" What's her point? "Did the pack ever hurt you the way he did? Did Jake ever once just once say he didn't love you? That you were better off with out him?" " Then did he come back and act like it never happened? The answer is NO!" Ok so the Alice voice has a little point there, but Edward loves me for me right? Well actually Edward will love me for me once I can protect myself and I'm not so fragile. Once I am his equal. "Exactly you're not his equal until you become just like him" Damn that voice! "But with Jake you're already an equal. You don't have to change you can just be yourself, He loves you for you not what you could be!" Damn Pixie why now? Why tonight? But deep down I know she's.. I mean I'm right. I love this fairytale I have in my head of Edward and so does Edward. As I reach for my cell it's ringing looking at the caller id its Edward. I open the phone and before I can say Hello he says "I know Bella, I know Alice saw it and so did I" I let a breath I didn't know I was holding out and he continues. " Don't say anything love, it's the right choice just remember I love you" All I can do is breath as the last words leave his lips " Good-Bye My Love" And I know that's the last time I will hear his voice and I whisper " Good-Bye Edward".**

**I laid there for awhile and waited for the tears to fall but they didn't. Ok that's odd, let's see hmm Edward and I in our meadow, nothing. The first kiss, still nothing. The proposal.. Nope nothing, nadda zip, zilch zero. Interesting although I do feel something I just can't figure it out. Ok one more try…………**

"**Bella, I don't want you to come with me"**

**A little something..**

"**You're not good for me Bella"**

**Ok, Ok now we're getting somewhere…**

"**My kind… we are easily distracted"**

**That's it! That's it! Wait that's not sadness, hell its not even anger!**

**I feel, I fell …. FREE!**

**I jumped out of bed, not a good idea with sheets tangled around me and fell on my butt laughing! I was laughing and it felt great! For the first time no one was there to catch me, and it was great, yeah my butt hurt but it's supposed to cause I am a klutz. I'm supposed to fall and get hurt, I'm supposed to trip and scrape my knee cause that's me! Isabella Marie-Klutzy as hell Swan! I'm Free! No one to tell me to be careful cause I may or may not get hurt! No one to make descions for me because they think that's what's best for me! No one to tell me who I can and can not hang out with! I have to call Jake! I need to tell him! As I reach for my phone I realize its only 5 am, it's just a tad too early to call. Hmm what to do what to do?? Oh I'll surprise him! First I should shower and make breakfast for Charlie. Oh Charlie! I have to tell him the wedding off, oh no I have so many people to call and tell!**

**Living in a material world**

**And I am a material girl**

**You know that we are living in a material world**

**And I am a material girl**

**My phone rang and I grab it "Hey Alice" Ok now the tears come! I won't see my best-friend anymore! That realization hits like a ton of bricks. Then I hear giggling. Giggling! Nice friend! Calling to tell me we can't be friends anymore and now she's full blown laughing me! The nerve! I was so angry I was about to hang up when she chocked out "Bella! Don't hang up!" "Why not? You're just calling to .." "No I am Not! You silly girl you're my best-friend and sister why would I do that?" Huh? Wait what? "Isn't everyone leaving now that.. that Edward and I aren't getting married?" "Why would we do that?" "Well last time" I started but the Pixie just cut me off "Last time was a mistake! He thought it was best so we agreed, but not this time no siree bob I am not leaving you again!" "None of us are!" came a booming voice. Ah Emmett "I love you too Emmett!" I could hear laughing in the background and it made me smile. "Well if that's not why you're calling the why?" I asked confused "Silly Bella! I'm calling to say don't worry about telling anyone but those that matter, I'll handle everything and everyone else!" "Oh Alice I love you!" "And I love you sis, now get your butt up and in the shower! Your in for a long day, I don't know how long cause you disappear around 10am (damn dogs) And I don't know when you'll be back or how that will go but Charlie's gonna be real happy!" more giggles " Now get going and call me when your home! Luv ya Bella!" "Bye Alice I love you too!" With that done I headed to the shower with a smile on my face!**

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**ok so this is my first attempt at writing my own fan fic! I have read alot of the one on here and I love everyone that I have read! This idea has been kickin around in my head for awhile so I hope you like it!**


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